There is a couple people working in the entertainment industry that share the name Adam Elliott too. Once they become famous, I’m gonna try to coattail them as much as I can.

Now, even if you don’t have a name that’s shared with a rock star, you can still be a rock star.

The ‘Fan Mail” iPhone app will send you messages like “I am your BIGGEST fan!” “Just want to send you a note to you know that YOU ROCK!” I hope one day I can be as cool as you are.”

You too, can have such genuinely heartfelt (sounding) messages delivered to you — and customized! Just pay 99 cents, tell the app your name and occupation, and it will produce an entire inbox filled with messages like “You’re an inspiration,” “Autograph?” and “A feature on you.”

Recently, my mustache got a friend.

I’ve grown a beard.  I’m not sure if it’s because I hate shaving.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m needing a more distinguished look. I’m not sure why it’s here, but it is.

I believe I’m at a Stage 2 Level Beard. Not sure what the beard stages are?  Let me show you with a system that I just came up with:

This includes scruffy beards and maybe a day or two of not shaving afterwards.  Manly and rough looking. Possibly the coolest looking beard today.

This goes just beyond the scruffy look where you can no longer see the face under the beard.  I don’t think I’ll go beyond this level out of fear of what may be to come.  This is also a good place to maintain the beard with regular trimming. Prince William is wearing his well.

This is nearing the Grizzly Adams look.   I guess it works well with a round face and is good for comedic intent. Way to wear it Zach Galafinakis.

This is lost in the wilderness for over a month.  Good if you’re a survivalist, it shows your toughness.  It also scares little children.  Not sure what Brad Pitt is thinking here, but I do not believe he’s lost in the woods.

This beard says “I don’t care anymore,” “I am never going to kiss another person ever again” and “I am have been sleeping or in a coma for many years.”  I don’t advise anyone go there.  Rip Van Winkle really was the last guy to get away with it and I’m sure he went to the barber right after he woke up.’

Extra Bonus:

One of my favorite The Kids In The Hall sketches: The Beard.

If anything, horror movies like Piranha 3D teach us that college spring breakers must be severely punished for their hedonism. How else will they learn the hard lessons of life, except for being torn to shreds in a semi-campy bloody mess?

The B-movie story is really not what you are paying for when you go to see this but here’s the rundown anyway. A tremor at a popular spring break lake destination in the southwest opens up an underwater cavern where prehistoric Piranha have been living. Then the fish get real bitey.

What you do pay for is the scary and goofy idea that plays on your fears of water and some “R-Rated’ college humor (a lot of it). The killer fish don’t disappoint in their method. Of course the para-sailer who keeps dipping down into the water has to turn into a torso. Of course the flotilla of people trying to save themselves has to tip. Of course an outboard boat engine has to be turned into a weapon. This would be a lesser movie without cliché trash like that.

It is odd that the Piranha may actually be the hero’s of this movie. The spring breakers pollute the lake as they party and don’t respect the Sheriff’s authority. Jerry O’Connell portraying a “Girls Gone Wild” style videographer simply needs to be fish bait. The cast of extras who get bitten are extremely guilty of poor acting. We should be thanking those fish.

When you add in brief and mildly entertaining cameos by Richard Dreyfuss, alluding back to his Jaws days and Christopher Lloyd as a Doc Brown-like fish expert, Piranha isn’t a complete waste of time. Elisabeth Shue plays the local sheriff who tries to warn the people. (Side bar to Elisabeth: I don’t care that you take dumb roles like these. I still love you.)

My only wish is that Piranha might have taken the chomping over the top to a place where it might have mocked itself. Then we would have had the holy horror trinity of scary stuff, bloody gore and self-deprecating humor.

First a warning: Unless you have children under the age of 10, there is no need to see this movie.

Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 reunites the furry and high pitched trio, Alvin, Simon and Theodore. While on tour in Paris, their handler Dave Seville (Jason Lee) becomes unwittingly injured and has to send the rodents back home under the care of his dumbwitted nephew Toby ( Zachari Levi.)

The are sent to school, where they are asked to compete in a battle of the bands competition, but end up competing against a rival female chipmunk trio: The Chipettes.

Filled with silly sight gags, a variety of pop-turned-Chipmunk tunes, and some mild peril this movie can only be tolerable through the eyes of a child.

The chipmunks are boisterous, and extremely predictable. The live actors phoned in every second of the film. I wonder why they even bothered looking in the direction of the computer-animated chipmunks, who were digitally added in long after the human actors cashed their checks and ran.

In summary, if your kids like grown men being hit in the groin by toy motorcycles, or flatulent men trapping furry animals under the covers, by all means waste your hard earned money on this one.

If not, wait for the rental. Put it in the DVD player, sit the kids down in front of the TV and GET OUT OF THE ROOM!

Overall Ratings: (Out of Four)
Date Friendly:
Good Humor:
Artistic Value:
Drama
Kid Friendly:

You know the old story of Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and the rest of the crew, but this time it seemed fresh. The story basically remains the same, the method is much better.

Jim Carey takes on the voice of Scrooge and the three Christmas ghosts and does so in a rather convincing manner. You see his face, body movement and expressions melded into each character through the performance capture technology, sometimes eerily so. The irony is not lost on the fact that he’s portrayed two of the most well known Christmas villains.

I thought I recognized the other faces, such as Gary Oldman as Cratchit, but I wasn’t sure until the credits rolled. It’s bizarre to see the actors face molded into an animated character.

On the flipside, there still is a creepiness to the Robert Zemeckis style animation. In Polar Express, I was disturbed by the animation and still think those characters were dead in the eyes. This time, I felt like I was watching something closer to a cyborg that nearly perfectly mirrors a human, but you know its only skin deep.

Is it too scary for the kids? Probably not. I thought there were some scenes that could be a little disturbing, but putting them all together, I think the kids can handle it..

The real magic is sometimes your mind is tricked into thinking you’re seeing something real, even though you know its all animation. The 3-D is worth a look.

Overall Ratings: (Out of Four)
Date Friendly:
Good Humor:
Artistic Value:
Drama
Kid Friendly:

I recall as a kid staying up late on Saturday nights, just catch a PBS rerun of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I never really understood what was going on, but I liked seeing that giant foot come crashing down from the sky and watching the bearded man with ragged clothes at the end of the show.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized I was watching comic genius. I was about 15 when I saw “A Fish Called Wanda” and realized that John Cleese was the same guy in the comedy show I watched when I was younger.

It was an amazing revelation, so some friends and I rented Monty Python’s Holy Grail. About 20 years later, I’m still quoting lines from it. Pure classic.

In any case, Happy Birthday John…lets celebrate with a greatest hits….

Here’s the coolest hockey shot you’ll see this week.

Oh what the heck…here’s some balloon boy fun…
Balloon Boy Pukes on Live TV:

Balloon Boy 99 Red Balloons Remix

The Balloon Boy-Hitler Connection

The Coming Balloon Boy Movie

The Falcon Heene Rap (I think he’s the one wearing the black shirt)

Balloon Boy Dad Craziness

I recently watched a rerun on an old Friends episode from the early 90’s. Looking back at it, it felt soul-less, dated, formulaic and without character. I got the same feeling watching Couples Retreat.

In Couples Retreat, four couples opt to travel to a tropical island resort supporting one of the couples attempt to save their marriage. Thinking they are there for fun and adventure, the other three couples quickly find out they have to participate in couples therapy sessions in order to stay.

I was swept up in the romantic idea, caught by the beautiful tropical backdrop and hooked by the promise of Vince Vaughn saying something funny. Unfortunately, my hopes were soon crushed when they played out one formula sitcom setup and punchline after another.

The characters seemingly cared for each other, but it was only on a superficial level. They talked about how they were concerned, but they didn’t sell it. It ruined the impact of the romantic comedy. They didn’t really care about each other, so why should I care for them?

Couples Retreat relies heavily on the quick-witted dialogue that Vaughn is so well known for, but in this context, I found it mostly annoying and trite. After this, I’m not sure I want to watch another movie with Vaughn in it.

Another sure sign of trouble, the audience in my theater laughed sporadically and only at the segments that were given away in the film’s trailer. Boo.

Overall Ratings: (Out of Four)
Date Friendly:
Good Humor:
Artistic Value:
Drama
Kid Friendly:

For me, it will be the first day I turn the heat on in my house.  Much like other cold weather lovers, I look forward to the time of year when you can bundle up . I always say, its much easier to warm up, than it is to cool off.

On today’s show, Fletch threw down the gauntlet and cornered me into declaring a date for turning on the heat in my home .  Strange.  Many of the conversations between he and I turn into some sort of challenge and this was no different.   We’re always trying to one-up each other, so I said November 25th would be the date for me this year.

It’s not an unattainable goal.  I think I kept the heat off through December one recent year.

By the way, November 25th was just a random date I picked.  After looking at the Almanac, maybe I should have picked a better day.  It’s marked by bunch of earthquakes, other natural disaster and some man made disasters too.  It’s the day JFK was buried in 1963 and also the day that dynamite was patented.

Yeesh.  Mental note: no dynamite in the house.

Would you rather be drowned in ice cream or be taken out by a giant tasty meatball falling from the sky? Given the choices, there are worse ways to go.

Based on a popular kids book from the 1980’s, this is a cute, but not memorable kids movie.

Flint (Bill Hader) lives on an Atlantic Ocean island known for its sardines. His lifelong pipe dream is inventing, and one day he comes up with device that turns water into cheeseburgers, spaghetti, ice cream, whatever. He achieves the success he’s always craved, but loses sight of what’s important. Then his machine goes crazy and starts dropping bigger and bigger foods from the sky.

I found several kid jokes that I could laugh at, most likely because a lot of the voice work came from Saturday Night Live cast and other performers I like (James Caan, Anna Farris, Neil Patrick Harris, Mr. T.)

Possibly a mistake, but I saw this film in regular old 2-D, even though its also being show in the 3D and IMAX 3D. This is the first go round for Sony’s animation software, and I felt I was watching something visually stunning. The animation felt a touch above the others.

What’s also noteworthy is the fact that you may leave the theater feeling hungry. The food looks delicious, although the machine only seems to churn out food that kids will like. I guess a giant piece of broccoli isn’t as much fun as a Jell-O castle.

(Out of Four) Overall Rating:
Date Friendly:
Good Humor:
Artistic Value:
Drama
Kid Friendly:

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