Rated R – 1h45

Aye dios mio! When it comes to fun trashy movies, you don’t get much better than Machete. Heck, just saying the name is fun.

Part action, part Spanish soap opera and a full dose of B-movie mockery Machete exceeds on just about every venture it sets out on. You’re taken on a ride that spans from some caliente fighting, to the touchy immigration issue all the way to pop culture trash queen Lindsay Lohan. (No, she still doesn’t qualify as an actress after appearing in this.)

Machete (Danny Trejo) is described as a FBI, CIA, DEA and Federale’ all rolled into one. He’s one major macho mustached man, not meant to be messed with. Three years after the loss of his family at the hands of an evil-fat Mexican kingpin Steven Seagal, Machete is thrust into the center of an assassination plot. He’s hired to kill at sleazy US Senator (Robert De Niro) who wants to build an electrified fence to keep illegal aliens out. Of course, demonizing politicians is good fodder, so they make him extra evil.

They messed with the wrong man, and that’s when Machete starts to cut it up.

The list of Latino stars in Machete is long, and all deserve some amount of credit. It’s way awesome to see Danny Trejo getting a lead role. Cheech Marin is a double-shotgun wielding priest. Jessica Alba is a by-the-book Immigration officer and tough chick Michelle Rodriguez was actually tolerable as the head of an underground people’s army.

Lost fans will clap (I did) upon the screen appearance of Jeff Fahey, who plays the politician’s even more evil aid. It was like he stepped off the set of his role as Captain Frank Lapidus in Lost and into his role in Machete without changing a hair on his head.

Director Robert Rodriguez is well known for his blood spilling action stylings, and on the surface this is just good example of his eye candy. Look a little beneath and you see there is actually brilliance in the way he parodies every angle of the immigration issue. From crazed self-appointed border patrols to illegal Mexican laborers using lawn care equipment to start a revolution, it’s witty. Outside of Onion Magazine I can’t think of another forum that has addressed the issue by hitting the nail on the head.

Side note: Machete was originally just a phony trailer in Robert Rodriguez’s 2007 film Grindhouse. From what I could put together with my friend Steve, the full movie included every scene from the trailer. Yeah for movie nerds like me!

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I’m not the kid of grillmaster who would step in an tell another grillmaster what to do on his/her grill.  That is a clear violation of the grilling code of conduct.  Still, if you’re going to be cooking out this Labor Day weekend, I found these tips on how to make your burger more like a restaurant burger.

Happy Labor Day weekend to you:

You know how homemade burgers sometimes lack that exciting, indulgent taste found in your favorite restaurant burgers? Here’s how to fix all that…

1. Choose the right blend. There are numerous cuts of beef that can be mixed together to create the best burger flavor. This post recommends sirloin, brisket, and….oxtail! A more traditional recipe we have calls for half sirloin, a quarter brisket, and a quarter chuck. Try out your own combinations to make your friends ask how you could have possibly made this burger at home. We’re talking fresh ground, by the way. Your butcher will be happy to help.

2. Shape your patty well. You wouldn’t be impressed if you saw a sloppy, too-large burger on a restaurant plate. So take the time to figure out your bun-to-burger ratio, taking some tips from this post on burger shaping.

3. Season the burger correctly. Chefs love salt, which is a large reason why restaurant food generally tastes so much better than home cooking. Take the time to season correctly and you’ll ramp up your burger flavor substantially. See tips #5 and 6 from this list of burger clues for more help.

4. Add a sauce. At Shake Shack in New York City, the signature burger has a delicious sauce (which they use amply) that makes it stand out from the pack. Their recipe? “It’s mostly mayo, with some ketchup, mustard, a few spices, and pickles blended in.” And when they say pickles, they don’t mean relish. Get the exact recipe here.

5. Choose the Right Bun. While a processed bun can make a great burger for grilling out, taking extra effort to make your own buns can make a huge difference. If you want to walk the extra mile for the perfect burger, try making these light brioche buns.

- Thanks to Yahoo.com’s Serious Eat’s blog.

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I don’t claim to be a huge fan of baseball. My allegiance actually lies with the fine sport of hockey.  That’s why this major brawl between the Florida Marlins and the Washington Nationals last night caught my eye.

I’m not saying they should allow bench clearing fights all the time, but it does make the game more interesting.  In hockey, we agree that there is an acceptable amount of violence in the sport.

Maybe baseball should do the same?

Check it out and watch for the 1st Baseman who comes rushing in extremely hot.

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     Adam and I talked about coupon clipping on the air this morning and it lead to an off air discussion (with various listeners–thanks for your calls!) about generic versus brand name products. 

     There are certain things you are not willing to buy the generic form of…like toilet paper, for instance.  But a great number of you have found store brands and generics now regularly make it into your cart at the store.  This article from the Today show gives great insight into what is just as good in generic form (their top five are cereals, prescription meds, over the counter meds, basic baking products and fresh fruits/veggies). 

     What about you?  What do you buy “off brand”?  Is there a brand name item you simply will not give up?

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Just when I thought I was recovering from Yoko Ono nearly destroying “Double Fantasy” and The Plastic Ono Band’s 20 minute performance piece of Yoko called “Don’t Worry Mommy’s only Looking For Her Hand In The Snow” (thank you Neil Butcher)…this comes along.

I think I’m a pretty smart guy and I think I can tell art from trash….but.  The official name of this video is “VOICE PIECE FOR SOPRANO & WISH TREE at New York’s Museum of Modern Art,” but I prefer to call it “Thing That Will Haunt You to the Grave.”

Happy screaming.

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Finally, health experts have caught up to what I’ve been shouting out loud since college.  BEER IS GOOD FOR YOU.

A new study suggests that drinkers, even heavy drinkers, tend to outlive those who abstain. “Moderate” drinkers, defined here as those who drink one to three glasses a day, were found to live longest.

The study followed 1,824 people between the ages of 55 and 65 for 20 years: In that time, 69% of those who never drank died, compared to 60% of heavy drinkers and 41% of moderate drinkers.

The findings are still a bit of a mystery. The benefits of a bit of booze are well known: improved heart health, circulation, and sociability.

What’s less clear, however, is why heavy drinkers  like Keith Richards would outlive some folks who never had a drop.  If you go by the Keith Richards plan, (and I don’t suggest you do) I think the preventative medicine is more like pickling the body with preserves than anything else.

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     ABC has a new cast of contestants for Dancing With The Stars (Adam likes to call it Dancing with the D-Listers).  Surprisingly, no one stands out as a shoo-in.  The playing field is pretty level for singer Michael Bolton, singer Brandy, comedian Margaret Cho, ex-NBA star Rick Fox, actress Jennifer Grey, actor David Hasselhoff, actress Florence Henderson, actor Kyle Massey, political daughter Bristol Palin, MTV reality star Audrina Patridge, MTV reality star The Situation, and ex-NFL star Kurt Warner. 

     I mean, the only connection to dancing that can be made really is a reference to Jennifer Grey’s big movie “Dirty Dancing”.  She laughingly said at the press conference don’t mistakenly connect her to a part she played in a movie over 25 years ago.  But I say…Nobody votes Baby off Dancing with the Stars!

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Why didn’t I think of this?  Awesome outdoor extreme bowling!

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     Three things happened to me this weekend on our family road trip that never happen.  One, I got to drive!  My husband is suffering with allergies really bad this season (poor baby) and had to take a pill that made him sleepy.  So, I took over behind the wheel.  Two, we challenged ourselves to not eat fast food.  I packed a cooler with fresh fruit and cheese plus I stocked the car with pretzels and granola bars.  Amazing how much better you feel when you’re not bogged down with fried fast food.  And three, I spotted a Rhode Island license plate.  For our family, that’s the Holy Grail in the license plate game!

     What games do you play in the car?  Do you take fresh food from home to eat healthy and/or save money?  Where are you headed on your next road trip?

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