Rated PG-13 – 2h27

Ummm, when did the Autobots turn into revenge killers who carry out mafia/gangland style killings? I think I missed that part of the cartoon TV series from the 80’s. I will say that Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is the better of the three Transformers movies that Director Michael Bay has delivered, but that’s not saying much.

In this two and one-half hours of special effects overkill, we are told the real reason for the space race of the 1960’s was because an alien ship had crashed on the moon. Flash forward to the present, where the “good” Autobots discover the well kept secret and have to race “evil” Decepticons to discover its secret.

I use good and evil in parenthesis, because it seems the sides these two robot races once took are much blurrier now. Sure, Decepticons want to enslave the human race, but it’s all in the name of going back home. Their goal is not to fight the good guys, just go back home. The Autobots this time are motivated not only to protect the Earth, but they also carry out intensely violent revenge-style killings of their foes.

So, is that a good thing? It surely adds a darker element to this type of bubble gum entertainment. Once you get through the first 45 minutes of plot build up, the action is quite intense and it doesn’t stop. I hope your ears can take it, mine barely did. I suppose that is the point of a movie that has an otherwise incoherent plot and dialogue that seems was written by a 10 year old.

Also, I’m not really a fan of shoot ‘em up video games, but the appeal of this movie is clearly directed at lovers of first person shooter games. In one battle scene, the audience is given the same perspective of the first person shooter video game. It was a little disturbing for my tastes.

I did find two moments extremely entertaining. I liked the pairing of John Turturro and Frances McDormand. Both are frequently in many beloved Coen Brothers movies. Sadly, even they are unnecessary, just like the rest of the humans in the Transformers movies.

I also loved the settings. Part of the movie is shot at Milwaukee’s Art Museum. Unfortunately the building stays intact. Another scene is downtown Chicago. The same can’t be said for the Windy City, which virtually suffers some severe damage. It’s always more fun seeing landmarks you’re familiar with getting blown up.

In all, I can’t recommend this film for the simple reason that it’s two and one-half hours long. I don’t care what movie it is. No one who just drank a 64oz soda should have to wait that long for a restroom break.

Popularity: 14% [?]

One in five managers say they’d be less likely to hire you if you didn’t do this.

Incorrect Answers:  Look good, shaking hands, dressing nicely or appropriately, smile, make eye contact, be on time, listen carefully, ask when they’ll get back to you

Correct Answer:  write a thank you note.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Rhythm & Booms is on Saturday!

Are you prepared? Here’s the schedule of events.

Here’s the last of the Not Necessarily True Rhythm and Booms facts. Remember. Don’t try to fact check them. They are undeniably solid and superbly fabricated.

- The most asked question asked at Rhythm & Booms: “Where is the nearest free beer?”

- Because of their unknown nature. Brats made of bologna will not be made available at Warner Park.

- The two-gallon cup of beer is banned for this year’s Rhythm & Booms.

- Even if the National Guard Soldiers around you look tough, they are smiling on the inside.

Popularity: 3% [?]

     Two new studies out show how diet soda drinkers pack on the pounds via their calorie-free consumption.  If you kick back more than two a day, you could bust your belt size up to five times more than people who avoid diet sodas altogether.  The thought is also that the aspartame (or artificial sweetner) in the diet drink triggers the appetite.  But unlike regular sugar sodas, it does nothing that will squelch the appetite.

     So, sugar-laden sodas are a no-no and now diet sodas are on the outs…what do these researchers say is okay to sip?  Water, of course.

     Sorry, no one comes between me and my Vanilla Coke Zero.

Popularity: 4% [?]

In honor of Meatloaf’s appearance at Summerfest tonight, let’s make Meatloaf Muffins (with or without cheese, your choice).  Cute cupcakes of beef, “frosted” with barbecue sauce!  And by cooking them in your muffin pan, you’ll cut the cooking time down from one hour to only 20 minutes. 

1 3/4 lbs ground sirloin

One onion and one green bell pepper (finely chopped/diced)

1 egg, beaten with just a splash of milk

1 cup bread crumbs

2 tbsp grill seasoning (like Montreal Steak Seasoning)

1 cup barbecue sauce

1/2 cup tomato salsa

1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

Olive oil

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.  Grab a large bowl, put your beef into it.  Add your veggies, egg mixture, bread crumbs and grill seasoning to the bowl.  In a seperate bowl, mix together the barbecue sauce, salsa and Worcestershire.  Pour half of that into the meat bowl and mix together with your hands.  Then wash up!  Brush your muffin tins with olive oil.  Use an ice cream scoop to put the meat into tins**.  Top each muffin with a spoonful of extra sauce.  Bake about 20 minutes (cut one muffin in half to make sure they are cooked throughout). 

**If you’d like to add cheese, here is where and how you do it.  Cut 3 sticks of string cheese (mozzarella, cheddar or your choice!)  into 4 pieces each.  Stick one piece of cheese in each scoop of meat, making sure the meat covers the cheese then top with sauce before baking.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Almost everyone of us has experienced this, and the average one lasts 22.2 seconds.  What?

Incorrect Answers:  spasm, hiccups, sneezing spell, dream, dizzy spell, brain freeze, charley horse, laugh attack, yawn, deja vu, daydream, kiss, prank phone call, hang up, telemarketer call, the wind knocked out of you

Correct Answer:  a voicemail message

Popularity: 5% [?]

Music and fireworks. Never before have two great tastes, tasted so great together.

Maybe there was that peanut butter/chocolate thing, but they never blew up like and M-80.

Here’s some more Not Necessarily True Rhythm & Booms facts.

Get your Rhythm & Booms Info here.

- The most popular parking space for Rhythm & Booms was claimed four weeks ago.

- Madison Police are happy to assist people in need, or arrest people who are wearing colors that are too loud.

- 7 % of people come to Rhythm & Booms thinking they will be attending an event called Rhythm & Brooms.

- Each year there are approximately 7,486,000,000 mosquito bites at Rhythm & Booms. Only 1/2% of people will enjoy them

Popularity: 3% [?]

One third of people who do THIS are under the age of 35.

Incorrect Answers:  go sky diving, exercise, get a tattoo, divorce, vote, married, call their parents, play golf, retire, go to church, play tennis, skinny dip, play baseball, play cards

Correct:  play bingo

Popularity: 5% [?]

KaBOOM! Just four days until the Midwest’s largest fireworks display. We hope to see you there.

Here’s some fun facts about the event. As for whether or not they’re true. I’ll plead the 5th.

- The raindate for Rhythm & Booms is Sunday, July 3rd. When scientists tried to predict the rain date for the rain date, their computers caught fire.

- 46 percent of people need directions on how to get to Rhythm & Booms, but no men will ask for them.

- The 12 ounce plastic cup was not originally intended for beer. It was first designed to hold cheese.

- The first Rhythm & Booms was performed in 1906 and only included two bottle rockets and a sparkler. It was watched by five people.

More fun facts to come this week.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Leave it up to a super spy to get married without anybody knowing about it.

Last week in a secret ceremony, current James Bond Daniel Craig tied the knot with actress Rachael Weisz.  (Nice choice if I do say so myself.)

While I think that Daniel Craig is a decent James Bond, I don’t think he is the greatest James Bond.  I know this may be controversial, especially to my movie-loving friends, but here is my list of the greatest portrayals of James Bond.

Side Trivia Note: Since Daniel Craig got married, you can impress your friends with this James Bond fact.  The only James Bond movie where Bond takes a wife is ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” BUT….you can also amaze your friends by telling them that when going undercover, James Bond  also got faux-married in “You Only Live Twice.”

Best movie James Bond actors:

#6 – George Lazenby – Mr. One and Done.  While On Her Majesty’s Secret Service had some cool skiing action sequences, you never really got the feel for Bond.

#5 – Daniel Craig - I really didn’t like the choice of Craig over Clive Owen, but Craig is growing on me.

#4 – Sean Connery – I know.  Purists will rake me over the coals for this low ranking.  The fact is Connery as James Bond was not so much a ladies man as he was a sexist.  I’m still a bit shocked watching Goldfinger and Dr. No these days.

#3 – Timothy Dalton – He’s an underrated James Bond, but I thought The Living Daylights and License To Kill were thrilling.

#2 – Roger Moore – Oh yeah.  The first James Bond I was introduced to.  He was smooth and satirical.  He also fought Jaws (Richard Kiel,) who I got to interview once.

#1 – Pierce Brosnan – He fit a tux better than the rest.   Brosnan was charming, calm, cool and collective on top of being silky and smooth.  Do I have a man crush on him?  Maybe.

Popularity: 3% [?]